The Paper Store

In Chinatown, there are at least three stores that only sell paper printed and folded up to look like items you would buy at a normal store. I didn't understand how the economics of a small Chinatown could support one store like this, let alone three.

A couple days ago in the newspaper though, we learned that the Chinese buy these goods and burn them, so that loved ones can use them in the after life. Considering America's duel obsessions of materialism and going to heaven by accepting Jesus as your personal savior, I'm shocked this idea hasn't caught on in the States.

Think about it. Don't you want your loved ones to have SUVs in heaven?


And if you really loved Grandma, you'd buy her that watch and necklace.


Let's not forget some sensible running shoes. Don't want to be spraining your ankle in heaven.


And heaven wouldn't be Heaven without the latest fashion.


Or home furnishings.


Also make sure they can keep in touch with their other deceased friends, even when they're on the go, with this 80's style Zach Morris cell phone.


Often times, people overlook the small things in Heaven. Like eating. The cafeteria never really recovered after Belial resigned as cook and sided with Lucifer in the uprising against God (look it up). So make sure they have some comfort food, like tea, sugar and biscuits.