The Plot Against SpongeBob

Longtime readers of this blog (hi Mom) may remember my Pulitzer prize deserving, hard hitting investigatory reporting of the truth behind SpongeBob Squarepants and his leading role in the New World Order shadow government.

Well, I'm afraid the story's not over quite yet. You see, when I was in Thailand, I witnessed...

an attempted coup d’état by Number 626, aka Stitch! I'll never forget the pure terror in SpongeBob's eyes.

Stitch's attempt on SpongeBob's the throne is tragic when you consider that the two grew up together as friends.


But it wasn't smiles for long. SpongeBob soon showed an appetite for power, glory, stuffed dolls

and alarm clocks.

Stitch couldn't handle his friend's new found success, and his soul was twisted by jealousy. He tried to compete with his own plush toys and time keepers.


But he couldn't break into the world market, and had to settle with a small but devoted following in Thailand.

Which is why it was surprising to see SpongeBob tour Thailand under the protection of only one bodyguard: Special Agent P. Star. Stitch saw his opportunity and pounced,

but Mr. Star stayed cool as a sea cucumber and was able to fight off the attack.

SponeBob did not go unscathed. Due to injuries sustained during the attack, SpongeBob must now live in a plastic bubble.


But he doesn't seem to mind too much. To paraphrase France's Henry IV, "World domination is well worth a bubble."