Flying

When you think about it, it shouldn't take me 25 hours to fly half way around the world. The Earth makes one full revolution in 24 hours, and I'm only going half that distance. Wouldn't it be faster to hover in place for 12 hours and let the other side of the world come to me?

I thought so, but Singapore Air didn't listen to any of my phone calls, faxes, e-mails or singing telegrams, and thus I found myself looking forward to 25 hours cozying up in an economy class airplane seat.

Now maybe you've never spent 25 hours on a plane and would like to keep it that way. Or maybe you have and would like to forget. Either way, let me show you what it's like.


First an observation. It's about time someone equated former President of the United States of America, John F. Kennedy with sin. He's gotten a free pass for too long. Kudos to Singapore Air for calling him out on his shenanigans.


And we begin. On the tarmac at JFK. Beautiful, no?

We have lift off.

Somewhere over the Atlantic.

Our bodies still think it's night, so as we fly into daylight we are asked to draw down our window shades in order to leave undisturbed anyone's uncomfortable sleep. The tiny and vindictive economy class seat won't let me sleep so I watch "Atonement" (okay) and "Bee Movie" (more like Eff minus movie).

Morning for us, yay.

Approaching Frankfurt, Germany.


Frankfurt, Germany. We have an hour lay over, and are asked to disembark. If the Frankfurt airport is any indication of the city proper, Frankfurt has only one working toilet and a very long line.

Back on the plane. And now it's raining.

Goodbye Frankfurt. Let me know when you invest in a more robust plumbing infrastructure.

We were flying through a bunch of awesome looking wispy clouds, but by the time I got my camera out, a big cloud got in our way and ruined the view. Irrefutable proof that clouds are in fact out to rain on my metaphorical (and sometimes actual) parade.

I have no idea what we are over. Maybe Eastern Europe, who's to say?

Night time, round two. This time I actually sleep and awake slightly revived and with much neck and back pain. You win this round, economy class seat.

Somewhere over India. Or not. I have no idea.

Approaching the Singapore airport.

Because they kill people who even think about jay walking, Singapore has no crime. As proof, check out this skin cream on sale in the airport pharmacy. It costs $343.20 and is RIGHT BY THE DOOR where anyone could get their head chopped off while thinking about stealing it. And hey, I just noticed you can see my reflection in the box. If that's what Imedeen does to the box, just imagine how radiant it makes your actual complexion.

While visiting one of the many restrooms in the Singapore airport (take that, Frankfurt), I notice a sign on one of the stalls that said "Watch your step." Intrigued, I enter.

New plane, new window, new uncomfortable economy class seat.


In the air, somewhere over Malaysia.

This mountain looked so cool I had to take a good photo of it.


The Kuala Lumpur airport.

Kuala Lumpur!